ADHD and Rigid Planning: Building Plans That Bend, Not Break
As both an ADHD coach and someone with ADHD, I've noticed a fascinating pattern in how we manage our daily lives. Many of us with ADHD create elaborate plans and routines to manage what's on our plates at home and work. While we build these systems to support our executive function challenges, they can become surprisingly inflexible - often leading to increased anxiety and stress when life inevitably throws us curveballs.
What Happens When Plans Meet Reality
I'll share a recent personal example that's had me explore this topic deeper. To manage running a business, coaching, and parenting a toddler, I've developed my own intricate systems - carefully crafted to-do lists, synchronized calendars, and daycare pickup/dropoff schedules.
I was warned, but it's taken me some time to accept: daycare germs are relentless and they don't check my calendar first.
Each time illness strikes and I need to drop everything, I find myself feeling disproportionate upset.
Logically, I know changes and unpredictability are part of life. This rigid planning often serves as a coping mechanism. When my initial reaction to disruption feels overwhelming, it's because the psychological safety my planning provides is being threatened. The key is developing a more flexible mindset - one that allows our systems to adapt rather than collapse.
Why ADHD Brains Often Need Rigid Systems
Research helps explain this pattern. Studies show people with ADHD experience reduced cognitive flexibility (Johnson et al., 2021), which is an ability to adapt to unexpected changes. Additionally, challenges with working memory and time blindness (Williams & Chen, 2022) mean we often rely heavily on external structure.
In response to the above, we create these systems to:
Reduce decision fatigue, which helps us preserve mental energy for important tasks
Provide us with structure, giving our day clear anchors and routines
Help manage overwhelming stimuli by creating predictable environments
Create predictability, which helps compensate for time blindness
Support working memory by externalizing information we need to track
They can be fun to create - our ADHD brains often enjoy the novelty, creativity and problem-solving aspects of building these systems
These structures provide a sense of control and safety. But when disrupted, they can trigger disproportionate stress responses.
Building an Earthquake-Resistant Schedule
Think of your planning system like an earthquake-resistant building. You need a strong foundation - your core routines and systems - but also the ability to sway with unexpected changes without collapsing.
Here's one practical approach I share with my clients, drawing from my project management background: Make a habit of planning "tax" into your schedule. Just as an 8-hour workday doesn't mean 8 hours of focused work, we need to build in buffer time. Set aside 20% of your planned time for unexpected changes. In an 8-hour day, this means planning around 6.5 hours of actual task time. This buffer becomes your system's "flexible joints," allowing it to absorb disruptions without compromising the whole structure.
Life will always bring change. The key is shifting our mindset from seeing our systems as rigid rules to viewing them as adaptable guidelines. With built-in flexibility like planning for "tax," day to say we can maintain the structure we need while building confidence in our ability to adjust.
Want to explore how to create flexible systems that work for you? Book a discovery session with one of our ADHD coaches at this link to learn more about working together.
